Fish fingers and funerals

“Fireball! I think when Freddie has his funeral we should play the ‘Fireball’ song for him!”

Suddenly announced Tabby, our 9 year old daughter during the middle of tea the other night. (Fish fingers, mashed potato and veg in case you were wondering!). A moments pause was followed by Freddie, our 17 year old laughing his head off and exclaiming;

“I’m not sure if I take that as a compliment or not!”. The conversation followed with all the other songs she had picked for us. Barney, her 15 year old brother was going to have “that one from the Guardians of the Galaxy film”. This was followed by her half singing the words she knew and half humming to fill in the blanks!

For me (Mummy) she’d picked ‘Make Your Own Kind of Music’ by Paloma Faith. A favourite song we sing along to driving back and forwards to her gymnastics lessons.

Daddy was to have ‘Jump Around’ by House of Pain or “a song that sings about going your on bicycle” (he’s a keen cyclist).

She mused, for herself it was a bit harder as she had so many favourite songs. “Roar” by Katy Perry is a definite. “Something by George Ezra as I likes all of his songs” or maybe the music she does her latest gymnastics floor routine to.

Clearly some thought had gone into this, but actually each song was perfect for its ‘recipient’ in its own kind of way.

Talking about funerals and dying is a fairly regular occurrence in our house, where the children have grown up and live on site of our funeral premises. But so many people find it hard to do so.

Our Funeral Directors who meet with families will often say the hardest arrangements and instructions to take are those where families haven’t discussed the funeral before with their loved one. It’s not uncommon to hear “I don’t even know if mum wanted a burial or cremation”.

Maybe there’s a reluctance to talk about it when people are poorly or getting older. Perhaps there’s a fear that it will hurry things along or they just don’t want to think about it. But chatting about dying and funeral wishes in advance can make things easier for those left behind when the time comes to arrange a funeral.

Chatting about funerals needn’t be sad and serious. When you’re out gardening are there favourite flowers you’d like? Favourites songs on the radio could spark a conversation about music you’d like at your funeral. Watching tv programmes where a character has a funeral or even attending a friends funeral can steer the talk towards your own likes and dislikes. Have you a favourite colour you’d like everyone to wear to the funeral? Or a funny story you’d like told about yourself? These little conversations help build a picture and when these thoughts are shared with others create very special and personal funerals, something that R. Locke and Son are proud to help families plan.

“The funeral really reflected dad’s life/wishes!" Or “It was just dad would have wanted” are two of the biggest compliments anyone can receive about a funeral.

So please do chat with family and friends over a cuppa, keeping it casual and light hearted or maybe invite everyone around and have some fishfingers for tea!

If you would like any advice, information about funerals or pre-paid funerals please explore the pages of our website or feel free to give us a call and one of our Funeral Directors will be happy to chat with you.

For Information the songs suggested …

• Fireball - Pitbull
• Jump Around – House of Pain
• Make Your Own Kind of Music – Paloma Faith
• Hooked on a Feeling – Blue Swede
• Roar – Katy Perry
• Green Green Grass - George Ezra